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20 Things I Wish I’d Known Before Becoming a Father: Guardian Dads Pay it Forward

Health & Safety | The Guardian Story

We’re thinking of some very special someones this week. How about we give you a few clues, and you try to guess? Here we go!

Clue #1: The only way he can give directions is by describing the destination’s proximity to landmarks — even though you’ve explained you just need to plug the address into Google Maps.

Clue #2: He can sense a light was left on in an empty room, or a fridge door is open, from anywhere in the world.

Clue #3: He wishes you would call your mom more often. She’s your mother, after all.

Clue #4: He loves you like crazy, and would move mountains to keep you safe.

Give up? We’re talking about dear, old Dad!

Guardian Protection is a family company at heart, and we have tons of proud papas on our team! In honor of Father’s Day, we asked a few to share some things they wish they’d known before they became dads. Some of the answers gave us a pretty good laugh. We hope you enjoy it, too.

1. “Full” doesn’t really mean full.

“I wish I would have known that when my kids said they were full after dinner, it really meant they had room for junk food 20 minutes later.”

Justin D.

2. Kids are selectively heavy and light sleepers (and not always at the best times).

“My kids can sleep through an accidental alarm going off in the middle of the night. But if I get up early and walk down the steps, two seconds later they’re staring at me, ready to start their day.”

Todd H.

3. Kids ain’t afraid of no ghosts.

“I wish I would have known how fearless kids can be.  For an example, my daughter loves to stand on her riding unicorn and has no worries about falling.” 

Ryan R.

4. There may be quite a few, er, teachable moments.

“That it’s a miracle humankind has survived. Kids have no concept of: A clean room, how to put dishes away, that caps on toothpaste are a good thing, what to do when the toilet overflows, what the world was like before cell phones and the internet, and that you may actually not know the password to every service in the household from memory. Buckle up. And good luck.”  

Kevin B.

5. Kids love to keep you on your toes.

“I wish I would have known how much they like to play hide and seek… Anywhere, anytime. Clothing racks in a store are their go-to.”

Matt MC

6. Get ready for Wrestlemania.

“I wish I would have known that when you have two boys, it can turn into WWE wrestling at the drop of a dime.”

Justin D.

7. Magellan was no match for a toddler on a mission.

“Toddlers are the ultimate explorers. We found out quickly that baby- and toddler-proofing the house is not a one and done deal. As they continue to grow, so does their curiosity, which makes keeping your home safe a constant endeavor.”

Matt MJ

8. Does anyone know what this means? 🧙‍♂️🍕😂

“I wish I would have known I needed a comprehensive course on emojis!”

Brad L.

9. Those diaper commercials are VERY misleading.

“Diapers don’t hold everything in. They just direct everything up the back.”

Todd H.

10. Your kindergartener might make Beyonce look like a wallflower.

“I was warned that my daughter would grow up quick, but I’m still not ready for her 6-year-old personality and attitude!”

Brian V.

11. It all happened so fast…

“I wish I’d known how much of a mess can happen in less than 5 minutes.”

Justin D.

12. …but you’ll realize “clean” is a very relative term.

“I wish I’d known that kids go for puddles like heat-seeking missiles. Always check the weather before you head out with your kids, and also always bring a change of clothes/shoes. They’re going to find that puddle and get wet and muddy.”

Andy B.

13. Kids are equal parts frustrating and funny.

“I wish I’d known what of a combo of fun and frustrating it was going to be. You’ll forget over and over that they are still learning. But at the same time, kids are wicked funny.”

Matt MC

14. For some kids, the Polar Bear Plunge is way more inviting than a warm bath.

“Not sure the exact age that it happens, but your kids go from loving bath time to turning into these crazy creatures who think a shower will somehow hurt them… but they’ll go ahead and jump in a freezing pool, no questions asked.”

Todd H.

15. Babies have zero aim, so be prepared.

“If your baby looks like he is about to throw up while you’re holding him, face the baby away from you. Learned that one the hard way… many times.”

Michael J.

16. Those adorable footsie pajamas may become problematic during potty training.

“I wished I’d known that even though onesie pajamas are very comfortable, they can be difficult to remove for potty-trained toddlers in the middle of the night!”

Brad L.

17. Little ones should come with a tracking device.

“I wish I’d known much more aware I needed to be. Kids are sneaky and quick. Oh, and when they’re not hungry, they can suddenly throw like an MLB pitcher.”

Matt MC

18. Always practice the safety tips you want your kids to follow.

“Dads may cut corners — and not always follow the “safety handbook,” so to speak — to a T.  Even if we don’t realize it, kids are always watching and are going to mimic whatever Dad does!”

Matt MJ

Get our Kids Safety Guide for essential tips to help keep your family safe!

Download PDF

19. No joke — laughter makes everything better.

“Embarrassing your children in public is such a great perk of being a parent. Now I understand why my parents did it to me. But no matter what happens, a good Dad joke always seems to save the day.”

Todd H.

20. And finally, don’t take a single moment for granted.

“How fast your kids will grow up! You hear it all the time from your own parents, but you never realize it’s true until your own kids are grown. When that happens, suddenly, your kids no longer want to play silly games, watch ridiculous TV shows, or read picture books with you. So relish those little moments. They don’t come back!”

Kevin B.

Happy Father’s Day from Team Guardian!

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